In our modern world of recreational outrage, one man has resisted the pressure to fall in line and has, ironically, outraged his Bootlegger teammates. PJ is, to sum it up, the Anti-Twitter.
“Most people would call Gitz a loser after his strikeouts,” said Bill Landow, Social Media director for Team Bootleggers. “Not PJ. That asshole tries to encourage positivity by saying ‘nice try’ and other bullshit like that.”
PJ’s positivity has been a drain on the team, which is truly a reflection of society as a whole. Teammates embark on #NOTMYMANAGER protests against Wilhelm every day, they find outrage in something as simple as someone’s shoelaces and can be offended by anything at any time.
“I popped out one time to the pitcher,” said Brandon Smith after a game, “And I came in and that dickhead PJ was telling me ‘nice try, you just barely missed it.’ Yeah, I know that asshole. Thanks for pointing it out. I much prefer LL’s much more refreshing quip about ‘dude, you suck. Nothing about that looked good.’
The positive attitude flies in the face of conventional norms. Team management has had multiple conversations with him about his attitude and the adjustment he needs, but until his contract expires, the team will have to swallow their own outrage and accept him for what he is.
Some, however, refuse to bend. “I can’t tell you how many times my wife has asked me what’s wrong. Why am I so angry when I come home after a game,” Frank Jacobson told LMZ, “And once I mention PJ, she just nods and says ‘I understand, let me give you a hug.”
Hopefully the team can unite in anger and outrage, and problems like PJ will see the light. We can only hope.